I had this poem on my website, but Demon stopped doing email, we changed ISP and so the website eventually disappeared. I thought it might be useful to have it available online again, so here we are...
Marriott Edgar wrote a number of humorous verse monologues in Lancashire dialect, the most well known of these is probably "The Lion and Albert". I remember hearing this regularly on the radio when I was a child. It was while I was doing the OU's Shakespeare course back in 2003 that my attention was drawn to
The Skinhead Hamlet. Until then I hadn't really been aware that humorous versions of Hamlet existed. I'm not quite sure what happened then, but something clicked in my brain and I just
knew that if there wasn't already a version of Hamlet done in the style of "The Lion and Albert", then there ought to be one. The story of Hamlet is just as tragic as the tale of a little boy eaten by a lion on a visit to the zoo and would perfectly suit that dry Lancashire way of telling a tale. As Google couldn't find me the monologue I longed to see, I decided that I'd better write it myself. (N.B. I have posted this back in 2021 to LJ, but I didn't have a DW account at that time, so it's not been posted here.)
Here's the original poem:
The Lion and AlbertWith profound apologies to both William Shakespeare and Marriott Edgar, here is Hamlet in the same style...
One dark moonless night on the ramparts,
Two sentinels standing at ease
Saw summat extremely peculiar,
A ghost, large as life, if you please.
The poor blokes were horribly frightened,
The ghost was all haggard and wan,
But before it could say owt t'purpose,
The cock crowed -- and then it were gone!
When Horatio happened to mention
The ghost they had seen in the night,
Young 'Amlet became quite determined
To see it himself, come what might.
Now 'Amlet was a trifle unbalanced,
His father was dead, and his Ma
Had married his dead father's brother,
Which he thought was going too far.
It were perishing up on the tower,
The air it were biting and cold,
When the ghost at last condescended
To speak, what a story it told!
( The poem is very long, so the rest is behind this cut... )